Christmas and Daddy

I haven't posted anything here in so long that I almost forgot my login.

Chistmas has come and gone again this year. I love Christmas for so many reasons. The best reason of all is that we are saved because a baby boy was born on this day so many years ago. Do you know I am so excited to be a Christian? I don't do as I should and proclaim that enough, but WOW I am doing it now! I love the Lord and I am happy to eat cake and ham and potatoes and butter beans on Jesus's birthday.

Christmas was always so much fun with Daddy! He always made us listen to the Elvis Christmas album while decorating the tree.  I still love that music.  He wanted his tree to have colored lights.  The more lights, the more better...  One year he bought lights that had different settings.  He curled one set around the tree and set them to "CHASE".  The plastic green tree looked like a race track for colored lights.  Adding to that chaos he had another strand set to "CAROL".  This made the lights blink to different Christmas carols.  The funny part was that it didn't play music, but you knew the song b/c the tree would blink in time to some familiar song...JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS...  I can still picture that tree with lights going crazy and Daddy loving every minute. 

My last Christmas with Daddy was no different.  He was so excited.  He went to K-Mart and bought a tree while I was at the office.  He was almost giddy when I got home from work!  When I came in that December afternoon, he had it!  It was a pre-lit tree- THAT ROTATED.  I thought it was silly, but he loved that thing.  6 Christmas seasons  have passed since he brought that huge box home, and I still have the rotating tree. 

It is so difficult to decorate and be merry without him here.  If it weren't for my babies, I wouldn't do it at all.  It physically hurts to look at a Christmas tree.  Will this ever change?

Staring/Daydreaming

Anyone else ever find themselves staring off into space?  How long have I been sitting here?  What am I thinking of?  Has anyone seen me looking lost and just walked away?

When I find myself lost in thought and then come back to reality, I usually have Daddy on my mind.  I wonder what memory I was lost in... Was it a good memory?  I am sure it was!

How much time is too much time to spend daydreaming?  I think daydreaming is the perfect outlet.  You are in the here and now, but yet you are in another reality.  If you like your alternate reality enough, you can make it happen FOR REAL.  Do you think that is how some of the best innovations came to be?  I sure hope so, because I have some great dreams.  I'm going to write a book, invent a new bathing suit, open a restaurant, become a carpenter, have a chauffeur... I get lost just typing this! 

I think about what it would be like if Daddy was still alive.  I think about this ALL THE TIME!  I would love to see him with my babies.  Oh how they would love him!  I can't even imagine how much he would love them.  Daddy used to tell me that he wished his Daddy had been alive to meet me.  He knew that his Daddy would have loved me.  He always had a distant look and a smile when he said it. It seems so strange that I say the same thing to my kids now!  Mary Grace refers to him as Daddy Glenn.  I used to tear up when ever I heard her say that, but now it is rather comforting.  Mary Grace wants to go to heaven and see him.  My heart just longs to be there when that happens (but not for another 100 years or so).  Sailor is going to love him too! They would have been quite a pair on their birthday.  She is extra special because she was born on his birthday, which happens to be his grandmother's birthday too.  That is just a good day for our family.  Maybe I will make 2 cakes this October!  One for her and one for Daddy.

I have to stop thinking about this.  I am all choked up, MAN!

ANYWAY, if you are reading this... don't be afraid to daydream.  You will be in good company.