When Daddy moved to the Cayman's I had a VERY DIFFICULT time adjusting. I had never been that far away from him for that long (well I did go to Belgium for about 3 months, but I was too young and dumb to know to be scared back then). When I came home from dropping him off at the airport my best friend was gone and all I could do was wander around a big empty house looking for him. There I was a grown kid without my other grown kid best pal to play with. While he was always the parent, we always had this bond that was more than that. Daddy and I were just this force that had it's own life. We were Daddy and Babedoll. When times got hard for us, Daddy always told me that all we needed was one another. I honestly believed that there was nothing I couldn't do with Daddy there. I guess he thought the same thing, but I believed it to my core! I look back now at the decisions I made and the things I achieved and I see that Daddy was always the driving force for me. I went to college and Daddy was there. I got a job and Daddy was there. I became a Guardian ad Litem and he was there (this one he did question). I quit my job to go to graduate school, Daddy told me to "go for it". I bought my first car, used, but new to me and Daddy told me that it was okay. I can still remember talking to him about that. I was so scared I had made a bad decision, but he said it was okay. And it was okay.
I feared nothing and no one. I had such a freedom in my heart because I knew that all Daddy and I needed were one another. There is this ultimate freedom that comes from having that type of confidence. Daddy was a genius to have taught me that! Who teaches their child that most amazing lesson with such grace? When I look back at myself then, it was if I was sailing. I had always been sailing with Daddy as my wind. I had no big worries and no real stress. I don't remember ever really being scared until the day I got a phone call from the hospital in the Cayman's. That day started a new chapter of my life...
I don't know who will read this, but I hope some people that knew us both will and leave me a comment. I wonder if our "power" lit up around us the way it did between us. Some people won't believe this, but it is a true story. One summer I was going up to Maryland to spend my vacation with my aunt and uncle. I woke up the Sunday morning when my Mama was going back to SC. I can't describe the feeling and I have no idea where it came from, but I HAD TO GET BACK HOME! There was this pull to come home and see Daddy. I had never felt that way before. I can't really describe the feeling. It was just this urgency to see Daddy. When I walked in the door of the our house I knew what it was. Daddy and his girlfriend had called it off while I had been in MD. He was in such a state... He had built a new house to make room for her and her children. He had brought her back to his home (the property where we lived) and let her into our lives. I don't know what happened between them and Daddy never told me. He didn't say much of anything about her or the situation. He was just not himself. We spent a long time getting over that. One day he found the vacuum cleaner that had been ours and brought it back home (his girlfriend had taken it with most everything else in our house). I think in a way, that silly vacuum cleaner was a symbol of him taking his life back! LOL I will never forget the silly grin on his face as he triumphantly marched back into the house with that upright vacuum cleaner! I don't even know why I thought of that...
I don't know how to end this memory. I never want this one to end. It has been almost five years and I still get "our" feeling sometimes. It will NEVER be the same for me. I don't go out into the world everyday like I used to. I am not as bold as I once was. I don't laugh like I used to. I have changed. I wish I could find the power that Daddy and I generated again, but I don't think it is possible. He would probably be sad to know that I struggle so much without him. I know he was teaching me with everything he did to be a strong and loving person. He wanted me to always be a good friend to people. He wanted me to be happy and make everyone around me happy. He wanted me to take care of those that were in need and always put God first. He set that example in everything he did. I know that am strong enough to do it, but just not as strong as I was with him to lean on! AHH, this one has been hard to write. MAN, I miss my Daddy!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Birthdays
My husband had a birthday yesterday. I love other people's birthdays! NOT MINE! That is how I got to thinking about this story. It makes me laugh so hard because Daddy always tried to make things special for me. He did, just not always on the right day.
Being an only child, one would think that her parents would always remember her birthday CORRECTLY. Well that isn't always the case. Daddy was able to prove my theory wrong 3 years in a row! My birthday is December 29th. The first year he got it wrong Daddy came in from a LONG, COLD day of work with a cake and a card. That was amazing. I loved it! I didn't open the card or touch the cake. After a while Daddy began to want a piece of the cake. I didn't get his facial expression at first and finally he just asked me when I would be cutting the cake and opening the card. When I said "tomorrow, on my birthday." I thought he was going to cry. He laughed (as always) and said he thought my birthday was Dec 28th. We had a good time with that one as we ate cake a day prior to my birthday.
The next year I was sure he would get it right. Well, he did adjust his gift giving a day. He just adjusted it in the wrong direction. On December 27th I got a gift, card and cake. NO LIE! I thought it was a joke at first, but then the look came over Daddy's face as the year before. He just started laughing. He knew that he had been a day off the prior year, so he made a change on the calendar - the opposite way. AHH, now we were celebrating my birthday on December 27th.
Surely the third time would be the charm. WRONG! This is not an story! Daddy made a big deal the next December 28th about my birthday. That time I wasn't all that amused because the joke was growing old. The day was again lost on my father. He thought he got it right on the 28th! I just fell over laughing at him because he meant no harm and honestly thought he was on time this year. The one thing we decided was that he was the first to wish me a birthday every year.
Only my Daddy could do something so innocently! He really thought he was right every year. What touches my heart is that he remembered CLOSE ENOUGH each year. The cards he gave always said the perfect thing. He always gave the perfect gift and always told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him! No matter what day you hear that, it is perfect.
This year will be 5 birthdays without him. I still open the old cards he gave me on my birthday. I love to see his handwriting. Heck I still have the 2005 calendar he gave me in 2004 about loving a daughter. Had I known that would have been my last year with him, I would have never left his side!
Being an only child, one would think that her parents would always remember her birthday CORRECTLY. Well that isn't always the case. Daddy was able to prove my theory wrong 3 years in a row! My birthday is December 29th. The first year he got it wrong Daddy came in from a LONG, COLD day of work with a cake and a card. That was amazing. I loved it! I didn't open the card or touch the cake. After a while Daddy began to want a piece of the cake. I didn't get his facial expression at first and finally he just asked me when I would be cutting the cake and opening the card. When I said "tomorrow, on my birthday." I thought he was going to cry. He laughed (as always) and said he thought my birthday was Dec 28th. We had a good time with that one as we ate cake a day prior to my birthday.
The next year I was sure he would get it right. Well, he did adjust his gift giving a day. He just adjusted it in the wrong direction. On December 27th I got a gift, card and cake. NO LIE! I thought it was a joke at first, but then the look came over Daddy's face as the year before. He just started laughing. He knew that he had been a day off the prior year, so he made a change on the calendar - the opposite way. AHH, now we were celebrating my birthday on December 27th.
Surely the third time would be the charm. WRONG! This is not an story! Daddy made a big deal the next December 28th about my birthday. That time I wasn't all that amused because the joke was growing old. The day was again lost on my father. He thought he got it right on the 28th! I just fell over laughing at him because he meant no harm and honestly thought he was on time this year. The one thing we decided was that he was the first to wish me a birthday every year.
Only my Daddy could do something so innocently! He really thought he was right every year. What touches my heart is that he remembered CLOSE ENOUGH each year. The cards he gave always said the perfect thing. He always gave the perfect gift and always told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him! No matter what day you hear that, it is perfect.
This year will be 5 birthdays without him. I still open the old cards he gave me on my birthday. I love to see his handwriting. Heck I still have the 2005 calendar he gave me in 2004 about loving a daughter. Had I known that would have been my last year with him, I would have never left his side!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Chapter 3: School Drop Off
I wondered how to put all this down for people to read. Should I put it in chronological order or just leave it random? I don't know how it will eventually end up, but I am just writing my favorite memories or about the memories that suddenly pop into my head as I go through my day.
Here is one of my absolute favorites! I lived with Daddy after he and Mama were divorced. That in itself was a comedy routine! Living with Daddy was an adventure. One thing he did do everyday was take me to school. No one out there should really consider that too abnormal. I went to a small school where the elementary, middle and high schools were all pretty much together. The strange part of our routine was in my father's profession. He was a lineman for one of the local power companies. He drove a bucket truck to and from work everyday. I never thought anything of it because it was normal for Daddy and I to ride in that bucket truck in the morning and in the afternoon when he picked me up at Granddaddy and Grandmother's house.
Every morning Daddy would drive me to school. Into the gate we would go. Traffic had to stop to let us in because of the size of his bucket truck. Then he would let me off right in front of the cafeteria (you folks who went to Macedonia know what I am talking about). I always tried to get out prior to that point, but it never failed, he managed to stop there every morning. I would kiss Daddy bye, get out, climb down the two stairs and hop onto the grass. Then it was a sprint to building. I tried to beat him everyday! I never beat him! He would wait until I got right in the midst of everyone... Then blow his AIR HORN! WHOMP-WHOMP! Just two short blows everyday to say "LOVE YA". Daddy would then turn the big bucket truck around in the middle of the traffic line and go out the gate he just came in. He was the ONLY one that did that. No one ever seemed to care. It was as if it the traffic should flow that way. My face would be red from embarassment each morning, but it never stopped Daddy. It was his way to get the last "I Love You More Than That" in (that is another story) each morning.
Years after graduating from college a friend told me a story. He and his older brother were talking about people they had gone to school with. When they got to me, his older brother asked if I was the girl in the bucket truck. I was mortified! My friend told me that all of the older high school kids knew me as the girl in the bucket truck. They waited to hear that horn every morning. At the time I was just shocked that anyone ever paid that much attention to a silly girl in a big ole truck. Now all I hope is that I run into someone out there that remembers me that way!
It is funny how time makes you reconsider the important things your parents did for you. Daddy loved me enough to take me to school everyday. He loved me more than anything. I understand now why he blew that horn every morning! Maybe one day when I get out of my car to go to work someone will blow a horn for me, just two short beeps! (I am still holding out for that one.)
Here is one of my absolute favorites! I lived with Daddy after he and Mama were divorced. That in itself was a comedy routine! Living with Daddy was an adventure. One thing he did do everyday was take me to school. No one out there should really consider that too abnormal. I went to a small school where the elementary, middle and high schools were all pretty much together. The strange part of our routine was in my father's profession. He was a lineman for one of the local power companies. He drove a bucket truck to and from work everyday. I never thought anything of it because it was normal for Daddy and I to ride in that bucket truck in the morning and in the afternoon when he picked me up at Granddaddy and Grandmother's house.
Every morning Daddy would drive me to school. Into the gate we would go. Traffic had to stop to let us in because of the size of his bucket truck. Then he would let me off right in front of the cafeteria (you folks who went to Macedonia know what I am talking about). I always tried to get out prior to that point, but it never failed, he managed to stop there every morning. I would kiss Daddy bye, get out, climb down the two stairs and hop onto the grass. Then it was a sprint to building. I tried to beat him everyday! I never beat him! He would wait until I got right in the midst of everyone... Then blow his AIR HORN! WHOMP-WHOMP! Just two short blows everyday to say "LOVE YA". Daddy would then turn the big bucket truck around in the middle of the traffic line and go out the gate he just came in. He was the ONLY one that did that. No one ever seemed to care. It was as if it the traffic should flow that way. My face would be red from embarassment each morning, but it never stopped Daddy. It was his way to get the last "I Love You More Than That" in (that is another story) each morning.
Years after graduating from college a friend told me a story. He and his older brother were talking about people they had gone to school with. When they got to me, his older brother asked if I was the girl in the bucket truck. I was mortified! My friend told me that all of the older high school kids knew me as the girl in the bucket truck. They waited to hear that horn every morning. At the time I was just shocked that anyone ever paid that much attention to a silly girl in a big ole truck. Now all I hope is that I run into someone out there that remembers me that way!
It is funny how time makes you reconsider the important things your parents did for you. Daddy loved me enough to take me to school everyday. He loved me more than anything. I understand now why he blew that horn every morning! Maybe one day when I get out of my car to go to work someone will blow a horn for me, just two short beeps! (I am still holding out for that one.)
Friday, May 14, 2010
Chapter 2: The Family Tree
My name is Kelly. My parents are Glenn and Karen. My maternal grandparents are Marion and Mary (Granddaddy and Grandmother). My paternal grandmother is Emmaline (Me-Me). My Daddy has 3 brothers and a sister and my Mama has 3 brothers. Some poor man finally decided to propose and I now have a husband. Ben is his name. I have one little girl, Mary Grace. I never thought I could love anyone the way I loved Daddy, Granddaddy and Grandmother, but I was wrong! That feeling that floats inside me since I have had her is indescribable! I feel lighter just thinking of her now...
Daddy and Mama were divorced when I was in the 4th/5th grade. That has led to Mr. Bill. He married my Mama when I was 16. How he survived the wrath of Kelly is beyond me! Mr. Bill is a good man and I am glad he decided to join out clan despite the trials I put him through.
Our family has had a good many pets. Most of those pets were named Fluffy. Daddy really went the extra mile in parenting to put up with my need for a cat at all times. I still have two cats. I was preparing to be the crazy old cat lady until Ben came along. So I have decided that 2 is plenty and be thankful that the Lord has blessed my life.
There are many more family members to be introduced in this, but those are my main relatives...
Daddy and Mama were divorced when I was in the 4th/5th grade. That has led to Mr. Bill. He married my Mama when I was 16. How he survived the wrath of Kelly is beyond me! Mr. Bill is a good man and I am glad he decided to join out clan despite the trials I put him through.
Our family has had a good many pets. Most of those pets were named Fluffy. Daddy really went the extra mile in parenting to put up with my need for a cat at all times. I still have two cats. I was preparing to be the crazy old cat lady until Ben came along. So I have decided that 2 is plenty and be thankful that the Lord has blessed my life.
There are many more family members to be introduced in this, but those are my main relatives...
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Chapter 1
Daddy! My Daddy is simply the most wonderful man that ever lived. Daddy and I had this bond that no other two people had. There aren't words to describe what we had, but through the stories I tell, I hope that everyone can feel just a little bit of the love that has made me the woman I am today! I am writing this to remember him. I am writing this to let my daughter know who her Granddaddy was. I am writing this so everyone knows my Daddy and how much I love him!
My very first memory is of Daddy and I outside on a Sunday afternoon. It must have been spring because we were wearing shorts and there were yellow flowers (A.K.A. weeds) growing on the side of the road. He was pushing my tricycle by holding onto the handles over my tiny hands and pushing off with his feet. He would run behind me and push really hard and jump on the back steps of the tricycle. We would both go flying down the road hanging on to that tricycle. We went up the hill to my grandparents house. That was always a favorite destination of mine! However, that day, I was much more interested in zooming back down the hill with Daddy standing on the back of my tricycle! I can almost feel that breeze now. I can still hear him laughing in my ear! (Most all my memories are of us laughing) When I went inside I took my Mama a big handful of the beautiful road side flowers. She humored me and put them in a vase (A.K.A jelly jar glass). I don't remember anything else about that day, but it is one of my favorites. UMM, I just like typing this! It makes it so much more REAL.
Maybe I should have done this years ago. Maybe the grief would have been easier to cope with. Maybe not, but I have typed less than a page and I already feel GREAT!
My very first memory is of Daddy and I outside on a Sunday afternoon. It must have been spring because we were wearing shorts and there were yellow flowers (A.K.A. weeds) growing on the side of the road. He was pushing my tricycle by holding onto the handles over my tiny hands and pushing off with his feet. He would run behind me and push really hard and jump on the back steps of the tricycle. We would both go flying down the road hanging on to that tricycle. We went up the hill to my grandparents house. That was always a favorite destination of mine! However, that day, I was much more interested in zooming back down the hill with Daddy standing on the back of my tricycle! I can almost feel that breeze now. I can still hear him laughing in my ear! (Most all my memories are of us laughing) When I went inside I took my Mama a big handful of the beautiful road side flowers. She humored me and put them in a vase (A.K.A jelly jar glass). I don't remember anything else about that day, but it is one of my favorites. UMM, I just like typing this! It makes it so much more REAL.
Maybe I should have done this years ago. Maybe the grief would have been easier to cope with. Maybe not, but I have typed less than a page and I already feel GREAT!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Intro
I have been thinking for a while about writing a book. I have to give credit for the original idea to the wonderful Dr. Silver. (He is the most wonderful man. He got me through a very difficult time in my life. If he is reading this one day, THANK YOU!) Over the past five years topics have flooded my mind trying to make it from simple memories into award winning prose! While the "award winning" part may not happen, I want everyone to have the opportunity to step inside the world I live in.
For those that know me, this is silly. For those that are new to my world I will tell you a bit about myself. I am now 32 years old. I am an only child. I have a husband and a daughter. I also have the most wonderful family and I have the best friends anyone could pick from.
The idea for this came to me almost five years ago. I want to begin this book-blog with one short memory!
For those that know me, this is silly. For those that are new to my world I will tell you a bit about myself. I am now 32 years old. I am an only child. I have a husband and a daughter. I also have the most wonderful family and I have the best friends anyone could pick from.
The idea for this came to me almost five years ago. I want to begin this book-blog with one short memory!
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